yoga and target

I went to yoga on Thursday. I've gone a few times before and it was okay. My old Al-Anon sponsor was a lovely yoga instructor and I enjoyed one of her classes and I did prenatal yoga a few times and it was decent. My first yoga experience is the only one I can say was probably not optimal...I feel asleep whilst concentrating on the breathing and woke up to everyone rolling up their mats. But Thursday I fell in love! I'm beginning a relationship with the mat! Perhaps it was Ita's voice or the words that she said. Perhaps it was that there were women (and a man) of all different sizes, ages and abilities. Perhaps it was the lovely studio or music. Or perhaps:

Whatever it was, I proceeded to Target and purchased a lovely green yoga mat, some clearanced yoga pants and shirt and realized that it's the first time since he left that I was alone, without children (and not at work). I had a night to myself. Yoga and Target and me.

learning to enjoy peeing alone...

I love being a mum, I really do! I’m the kind of mum that has children climbing all over them, the kind that answers every question, even when I’m on the phone. There are some days though, that I feel if I hear mama one more time I may just lose it.  For real, some days are just too much!!!

And then, there are days like today.  He picked them up to take them to the mall. I had to go to work and he would bring them back after. They go to sleep each night at my house, but for some reason today it hit me. I was sad. I was sad to walk them away from my house, walk them to his car that now has me scratched off.

 

I'm not sure how I'll do when they start going to Daddy's house...when he gets a stable one that is. Maybe it was the rainy, gloomy day. Maybe it was the lack of consistency taking my Zoloft. Maybe it's that little man has been struggling a bit with him. Whatever it was it was a hard day leaving them! 

Oh well, this too shall pass and tomorrow I'm sure I'll be thinking again, seriously can I just take a pee alone?